Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Taking Responsibility

        "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." Some how in the last 30 years, this morphed into, "There is no failure in the home that can't be blamed on someone else, or that shouldn't be compensated for by the government." I know, it takes a community to raise a child, but here's the caveat, a community can only help raise a child IF real reaching is taking place in the home.  It is not anyone's responsibility but your own to make sure your kid graduates high school and leaves your house knowing at least how to be a productive member of society. 
         Yesterday I had a new teacher meeting during my lunch break. I have these meetings every month and I usually just quietly eat my lunch as my thoughts wander off into space. I leave having learned almost nothing. Luckily my lunch break is only 34 minutes long, so I only wasted 34 minutes of my life. Something was said in yesterday's meeting that upset me. Another first year teacher asked the group how she could help a group of students that would not turn their homework in. Most of the ideas went something like this: "remind them everyday to turn it in so that they know you care". My first instinctive solution is this, "Fail them, so that they know you care." I don't know where other teachers stand on this issue but here is where I stand. It's not my responsibility to make sure your kid succeeds. In fact no matter what I do or how often I remind your child to turn their homework in, I can't make them succeed. I can only give them great opportunities to learn how to succeed. I think that by reminding them every day to turn their homework in, I'm enabling them to be lazy. I'm enabling their parents to not do their job. There is not much I can do if you chose to work 80 hours a week between the two spouses and only left 30 minutes a day to spend with your 3 or 4 kids. 
         So here is where I'm going with this. People love to gripe and complain about our educational system. There are too many lazy teachers who are only doing it for the job security. There are not enough teachers and too many kids. Teachers shouldn't have guaranteed salaries, they should be performance based. Guess what gripers and complainers! Your child's education isn't the public school system's responsibility. It is yours! Spend a little less time working and watching TV and take a little more time to explain to your child the importance of personal accountability. Teach your children that their success or failure in school has little to do with who their teacher is or where they go to school, but has everything to do with their ability to push themselves and with their desire to learn. Kids turning not turning their homework in and being disruptive in class isn't the problem, it's the symptom. The problem is the erosion of the family unit in society and the slow shift of responsibility from the individual to the group. 
       I don't believe that this problem is going to go away. The prophets and apostles have warned us for years that this would happen. They have told us how we can avoid these problems ourselves. I just want to give one piece of advice: Follow the council of the prophets as outlined in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Event the parts you think are outdated and old fashioned.  Here are a few of my favorites: 

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.  Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
If we heed these warnings, we will be successful in our families. I know it, I have seen it. 

Laman's 10 things you need to know to be a guy

Need a crash course on being a guy? Whether you're just a girl trying to understanding the male psyche or just David looking add a little testosterone this is your list.

10. Two words: Automatic Iron aka the dryer. Just throw your wrinkled Sunday shirt that you forgot to hang up last Sunday into the dryer and 15 minutes later, vuala your shirt looks perfectly pressed.

9.  College football is not a season, it's a 5 month long religious holiday. Sort of like Hanukkah  but it's only celebrated on Saturdays.

8. Phone conversations should be over in less than 30 seconds flat. The only exception is when talking to females and then your own side of the conversation should be kept to a minimum. Example:
Caller 1: Hey caller 2 did you see that hit?
Caller 2: Yeah that was sweet.
Caller 1: OK, well, I'll talk to you later
Caller 2: OK talk to you later.

7. If it takes you longer than 10 minutes to get ready then there's something wrong. You need to fix it. "Manscara" and "Guyliner" are not acceptable. If your eyelashes are not long enough then just deal with it.
PS - If it takes you a full minute to put your pants on, they are too tight, they're not yours, they're your sister's.

6.  There is always a game on somewhere. August through December is Football season, November through March is Basketball season and April through October is baseball season. The NBA can fill in the only 2 weeks of desolation at the end of March after your team is eliminated from play.

5. Stop Flopping. In life and in sports. Don't pretend like you got knocked over when everyone knows you just fell down.

4. Your wife will let you watch as much baseball as you want if you're just nice to her. Treat her like you should and you can enjoy 164 games a year.

3. Sorry guys but a beer gut (or Dr. Pepper gut) is not acceptable under any circumstances. No matter how many sports you watch there's always time to get up off the couch and lose that extra 15.

Since I wrote this so long ago, it looks like I never finished. So lets go peeps, finish it for me. What are your #2 and #1 things you need to know to be a guy?